| College man... |
[25 Oct 2009|07:50pm] |
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A year and 11 days since I've posted... just came on to say I haven't died yet and I'm doing well in college. If you need to talk to me, message me on Facebook.
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| What I'm usually on... |
[14 Oct 2008|07:49pm] |
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I'm on Facebook more than anything. So anyone searching for me, I go by Bigg Mone Williams on Facebook or www.myspace.com/biggmone
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| Hey guys... |
[06 Sep 2008|09:43pm] |
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Anyone still use this? lol
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| Cutters... |
[12 Jul 2008|01:27pm] |
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I still don't get it. Someone on my Youtube page sent me a video, and it was a collage of pictures of people who've cutted, and it tried to make it look like an artform or something. See, I get that life can be a pain and sometimes it's too much to handle. Hell, I've been there too many times. But what the fuck is cutting going to do. Do it to feel alive? Honestly, if you can even make the effort to cut, then you're pretty much alive, you're not going to turn undead or anything. Really, and they cut side to side mostly, and in pictures it just looks so bad, even when healed. It grosses me out and it's just unnecessary to be cutting yourself just because you're depressed one day. I mean shit, go run, or make a song or something. Write poetry, talk with friends. The cutting is just absurd, and people who do cut defends it to the death. You can't convince a person who cuts to not cut unless you're Dr. Phil or something, it's like showering for them. Well trust me, I see it from both points of view. When you're depressed, cry or get another activity other than making yourself bleed. It's stupid, stop doing it.
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| Out of Retirement... |
[12 Jul 2008|01:26pm] |
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I used to do blogs a lot, I'ma try to get back in the game due to Brent's increasing popularity in his little blogs. I usually do it about how my day was, but I'll probably start implementing like views and my ideas on world topics and all that mess. But for now I'm just gonna give the lowdown, I had the house to myself for a while, just started using the bus, which sounds lame and the bus is really unreliable in terms of time, but it's allright. Been doing my thing for the summer, planning on going to Cedar Point twice this month, once with my cousins and once with Daniels, if we find some comprendes, or girls, to come. That's really all the lowdown on me, besides the fact that I beat some Dead Rising ass. I'll be back tomorrow or so to continue my unretirement. Oh yeah.
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| Starting to second guess myself... |
[07 May 2008|03:19am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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Seems like for 18 years the kind of person I am isn't working for people. Why when I say something that seems to be of a good nature gets skewered and then ridiculed like I was looking for love. There's so many things I do where someone will just say something that will piss off I think anyone that has common sense. Why is it that even when I don't put myself out there for people, I'm not even trying to look for someone to date, and even then it's made out like I'm fucking desperate or something. I don't care what mood you're in, or how many people have said the same thing. I don't care if everyone loves your company. I wasn't even saying anything like that. I say something like I wish you were here, or if you were here we would see, or something of that nature, given the fact that we had been talking for a while of the same nature, and then you say some shit like well I'm not so don't get your hopes up? The fuck is that. That's not even the point of what I said. I said it out of kindness, not hope. I said it because it seems reasonable that we'd be awesome friends but you live like fucking 80 miles away of no fault of your own but I was merely stating that it'd be awesome, not that I'm mad at you because you're not here, or that I have my hopes up. Get that shit out of here that I'm like savoring over you and that I'm like stalking you and that all your friends say the same thing. Take it as a compliment, not a fucking fault of yours. Come on now, even when I'm being calm and I'm not even pressing on anybody to talk to me, and when I just say something nice you say somethin like I have my hopes up. I'm not having that. I mean even if I was pressing, no need to have all that damn arrogancy. I thought I was a person to just accept a person and move on, but I'm seeing now that I have absolutely no tolerance for conceited people. I mean come on, there's a way to say somethin like that.
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| It WAS a dunk... |
[17 Feb 2008|07:20pm] |
Let me start by saying Dwight Howard's dunk WAS a dunk. You don't actually have to touch the rim to classify as a dunk. Reading some of the Youtube comments makes me question if some people have a brain.
Dwight Howard did win. He put on a spectacle. But so did every other competitor. I think that they tried to make every other persons' dunk look not that good, when they actually we're amazing.
Rudy Gay's dunk off the post of the rim and windmilling it was amazing, yet they made it seem like the worst dunk ever.
Jamario Moon's dunk with a 360 catching it behind him was a very, very good dunk.
I believe the most robbed dunker in that contest however was the defending champ Gerald Green. This guy blew out a candle on a cupcake that was on the rim for goodness sake. And the cupcake STAYED ON. Then he went on to the finals, and he caught the ball and windmilled it between his legs, not even mentioning catching it off a guys hand on top of a ladder. And his last dunk? Only doing that same dunk without the ladder, but BAREFOOT. This dunk was about the most disrespected dunk of the contest. So what if he did the same dunk. You know how much hops it takes to dunk it between your legs barefoot?
With that said, Dwight Howard did 4 dunks that I have only seen once before, and it was on a video Howard did a couple weeks ago. He did win it hands down. But it made everyone elses dunk look bad.
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| Bad thoughts... |
[28 Jan 2008|05:40pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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music |
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Lil' Will feat. Lil' Spain - My Dougie |
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Even when I'm having a good time over my friends house, bad thoughts always creep in my mind. I donno, I come on a site like this, and it reminds me of why I don't like to go out and talk to people that much. Because you'll find the most rude people. And I don't want to delete this site because I do talk to a lot of friends on here. But even when I try to get to know new people, even people I'm supposedly friends with on here, they decide to stab me in the back. People will lie and deceive to get what they want. Which is what they don't want. They pretend to want to talk to me for absolutely no reason, and then they just throw me in the fire with nothing to care for. And this is why I go crazy on people. Sometimes I will feel like my mind, heart and body is crushed in vain, for someone elses enjoyment. And this is why I say things I don't mean. But... it's just that they deserve it so much. I don't know. And truly, I need a girl who's gonna appreciate me for who I am. People have been telling me I will for so long now and I still meet slezeballs and assholes. I'm not trying, but it seems like I get the shit left in my lap. I'm annoyed with it, and I demand respect. I deserve it... I don't know why people, mainly girls, decide to choose me as their target of assholeness. I wish it would stop.
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| Bigg Mone™'s Top 25 Girls at Powers... Senior Year... |
[23 May 2007|10:50pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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Mario - How Do I Breathe |
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K... I'm doing this pretty fast, it's probably going to be edited a lot, so here we go.
1. Katelyn Ibbotson - Heh, she's absolutely beautiful.
2. Kelcie Clements - Improvement city, and she was hot back then too.
3. Devin Ferris - Yeah, a freshmen at 3, it's crazy, but she's up there.
4. Teresa Valley - She's gorgeous as hell... she definitely has that look.
5. Blake Jule - Damn this girl has everything, Sitko is a very lucky man, good work him.
6. Katie Shaheen - She definitely has it going on, too bad she's so shy.
7. Jordan Ovadek - A bit early, but she's gorgeous, I'm just now seeing her.
8. Ciara Garza - The personality egh... the looks are amazing. Damn she's hot.
9. Maggie Stoody - Haha oh man she is hot, she's almost perfect.
10. Danielle Poma - Always had a thing for her, I don't know why.
11. Emily Sarosy - I don't think she's as hot as people make her to be, but she's hot as hell.
12. Megan Stropkai - She's pretty awesome to hang with, and she's hot.
13. Monica Armenti - She has pretty much a perfect face.
14. Lexi Lepri - She came out of nowhere, and she is very sexy, weeeeeee.
15. Alicia Silvati - She definitely has everything too.
16. Karleigh Goggins - She made an improvement from Freshmen year, and she was gorgeous then.
17. Colby Leoni - Cute face and nicee body.
18. Megan Kattoula - Always had something for her, guess I never got over it.
19. McCall Veenheis - She's very hot, and her body is perfect.
20. Leslie O'Dell - Heh I thought she was hot when she came from Kearsley, she's awesome.
21. Katie Sabrin - Or something like that, she's pretty awesome to chill with.
22. Chelsea Peitz - Strictly for the body.
23. Stephanie Straus - Pretty much body also, and eyes.
24. Susan Hamati - On any given day she's as hot as anyone. It runs in the family.
25. Jillian Protrazk - She's pretty... always thought so.
There will be edits because I know I forgot people... oh well.
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| Damn it's hitting me today... |
[24 Mar 2007|05:12pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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Mariah Carey feat. Bone Thugs N Harmony - Breakdown |
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I haven't done one in a little while, probably should have two week ago.
Heh, so I went to the Powerlifting State Meet a few weeks ago. We lifted in the Equipped Division, which less people were in because it's kind of a hassle to use equipment lol. But there were about 300 lifters there, and we had about 20. It was a pretty long meet. But the thing is about 6 of our lifters won first in their division, and about 4 second placers. I was one of them, the guy who beat me was in my school haha. So I can be called an All-State Powerlifter now. It sounds very good. :) So we went to this like bar place for celebration, and there was this room next to it with like, the actual bar and kareoke and stuff. So a few of us smart ones thought of an idea. There was the NCAA games playing in there too. We thought of actually singing a song at the bar, haha. We ended up singing Ain't No Mountain High Enough, lmao. It was going to be Gerald and I singing the beginning solo thing, and then they would sing at the chorus, but noo, BUSTED EARS MORE, lmao. It was so tight, and then they played We Are The Champions for us, and we were all waving our trophy and stuff. I bet all them drunk people were wondering wtf were we doing, haha. It was so awesome.
Hah since then, people have been congratulating me. :)
Other than that, just been hanging with friends and such. So Thursday we were like checking out the play, and Mrs. Evans, the cute theatre director, comes up to us and she's like, the guy doing the sound won't be there for the play practice on Friday, and was wondering if we could do it. We had to take it, haha. So yesterday they went through the whole play and we were reading through like 140 pages of script just playing the sounds haha. And at the end when they did their last song, we were doing the Lean With It Rock With It dance up at the top thing, it was hilarious. We messed up Beckstrom. :) It was pretty tight stuff.
Heh, the last month went by so fast. Dealing with college, breakups, friends, powerlifting, basketball, and the regular dumb people, lol. It's all good though. Somethings been bothering me for a day but I had nothing to do with it, yet it was done to me. Oh well... I'm kinda sad but I'll get over it. She's going in the wrong direction anyways, I was the only thing saving her.
There's another blog for you guys.
<3 Bigg Mone™
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| Long time coming... |
[07 Mar 2007|07:32pm] |
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mood |
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 sore |
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music |
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Traxamillion - Club Stuntin' |
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It's been a long time since I've done a blog, and I definitely missed it. Five months of life not recorded more. Oh by the way, I have a lot of sayings now that most people would understand nothing about, haha, so my bad.
But anyways, last time I posted, I hadn't gone to Kairos yet. But I went to Kairos, and it was amazing. Usually Seniors don't go unless they're leaders, but like 6 went. About 42 Juniors went. It like, honestly, changed my life. I mean, ok, it was a God retreat. But I learned so much from going. I can't tell much about it, but honestly, I connected with people I didn't even know. I went out, for four days, with 52 people I did not know, Juniors and Seniors, from my school, but I've become so much wiser from this trip. I look at things in a whole new light now. I wish I could have been away from the rest of the world and just been there for longer than four days. It was sweet, and I came back, and got mad love. It was like 225 dollars, but it was worth it.
So since then, well, I hadn't been injured before that either. But I went to play football, like during sports skills, after Christmas break, and dude bombarded my knee. So that got really hurt, and I never got it checked out(hate waiting at the doctors + MRI money more), so I stuck with it, and I couldn't really run or anything for about 3 weeks, even though I tried like a dumbass lol, and probably made it worse. But it got better... but it's hurting bad as of late and I'm not sure why. But I got back in powerlifting, and it was all good. It started hurting though, when I started putting on the knee wraps for the meet I had to go to. At the meet it hurt really bad, even though I still qualified for state, but I don't know if I'm going to be healthy enough to compete. I'll try though, like a foo.
Anyways, it had been rough for a good while, contrary to the beginning of the year. People started acting dumb, friends started coming and going. I think it's getting back on track though. I'm getting a lot of friends, and maintaining my current and some of my past ones. Which is good...
Heh, I took a ride with my brother one day, which I hadn't done with ages, because we had to go get food. And we had so much fun, I mean just joking around and stuff, I forgot how funny he was, lol. Lmao, I know it's so bad, because he still LIVES HERE, yet I'm forgetting how he is. But it was so tight, we were talking about women and all kinds of stuff. It was crazy.
OH OMG, YEAH ALMOST FORGOT. So uhm, last Monday, I was in a car crash. Yup. Lol, I wasn't driving don't worry. It was Kyle, Phil and I, and we were going down on Kelly Road. Kyle was on the phone, and Phil and I were joking around. Muhfugga hits a hole in the road or something, and drives over a snowbank, kinda went airborne, went into a ditch, mailbox almost went through the windshieldbarely missing a tree AND A BIG ASS METAL SEWER THING, and it was sideways. Donno how it didn't flip, but it didn't. The car had gotten owned in the front, like the light and the windshieldThen Phil says, "Don't worry, I got the tools to fix it", and he pulls out this flashlight with screwdrivers, it was the funniest thing ever. But cop came, and OWNED Kyle in the face, like, basically humiliating him with words and threats. Heh... he looked so lost in that backseat. But yeah, he has a birthday this weekend and I'm going to try to go over. :)
That's I think 5 months in a jar, I hope. Comments pleaseeee.
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| Half day babyyy... |
[16 Nov 2006|09:19pm] |
We were going to give these gifts to this Hooters girl that Kyle and I were really coo with, but it turns out she wasn't there. So the gift would be late instead of early. So we went to Pizza Hut and ate good. I came back, and had to go up to the school for this graduation announcement paper thing, but they weren't there. So we waited a while, and my gma bought some stuff, and my evil aunt came lol. But it turned out to be awesome because it was Mingle and Jingle night where they sell a lot of stuff. So I talked to a lot of people. This really really hot freshmen gave me a fake number, so that was weird, but I bounced right off of that because I can care less about bitches. A teacher that used to teach at Powers was selling stuff and I hung out with her like the whole time. It was like 4 hours. She was like hugging me and stuff, and she's pretty allright looking so uber nice. :)
Let's hope tomorrow is good. I love boobs.
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| Go to hell... |
[06 Nov 2006|09:57pm] |
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I can't say it any more. People always find a way to act like my friend, then play me and then start some shit with me. I'm really fed up with it. And what's with the people thinking they can kick my ass? You don't know me. And you know what? Fuck you, bitch. That's all I have to say.
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| Updateee City... |
[05 Nov 2006|10:49pm] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
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music |
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Chris Brown - Ya Man Ain't Me |
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Not getting comments in more than a month is awesome, lol. I guess it's my little private journal like it used to be.
But yeah, Homecoming was a while ago. It was pretty neat actually. I didn't have like a lot of dances, only 5, and I did get played a lot. But it was really good seeing everyone, and I hung with Kapala, Pelc, Seeley and Brenton most of the time. Kate Ibbotson, who I was pulling for to win Homecoming court did get it. And she looked beautiful there, with her boyfriend. I'm very happy for her... I haven't talked to her in a while. But she knows she always has a shoulder to lean on.
But yeah, through almost a semester of Research Paper, and I'm already wanting to burn my folder in that class. It sucks so bad, she's so impossible with the assignments. But it's life, she's installing a good lesson in us I suppose. So yeah, life right now is pretty much the same. Still complicated though. I have tried to focus on grades and such since the beginning of this year, and not girls and such. But I've gotten a lot meaner for some reason. I guess I've let everyone get to me, and I use anger to get my point across now. I donno... still with the girls. I'm not focusing on them at all, and I do have a lot more lady friends now, which is really nice. But I'm still getting the same problems with people, especially girls and friends, lying to me, underestimating me, and making me seem bad. I don't know. Lying to me annoys me so bad, because I put so much trust in an answer, or a promise, and then they break it and it's my fault. I want to ask one of these two girls to Sadies, but I'm like 99% sure they won't go with me. One has a boyfriend, and one rarely dates guys. I just really need a date to that, because I don't think I can take my Senior year dateless to any dances. Egh. It's plaguing me though. It's this girl Gab, and I've been pretty good friends with her, for what, two weeks. And we'd talk a lot. Can't discuss what about lol. But it was really coo. And she's like, you want to date me? And I'm not even gonna lie, she's kinda young. So I'm saying I'm not sure you know, if I could get in trouble or what not, because I'm illiterate with the law pretty much in that area. But I do confirm it, so it's coo right? Well... turns out she's dating someone else now. Now I'm not mad that she's dating someone over me, or mad at the dude at all. And I understand we couldn't date like then. But it's just the fact that I committed to her to dating, and then she pretty much lied. But I'm supposed to be fine with it, and just continue being friends with her. Which I can do. But I'm so tired of dumb stuff like this. I'm so, so, so solid in my opinion that I can trust no woman, because no matter what a guy does, they always can scope and evaluate what guys want them and play them, because generally guys go after the girls more than the girls go after the guys. It's annoying, because she can get awkward, but I thought I had my trust in her. I could be overreacting. In many ways, I do. But seriously though, girls makes so many God damn things so complicated. It's good that I've stopped focusing on them. But this came to me. It's not like I can ignore them, or this, because my feelings are out on my sleeve. And when I get played, I either get depressed or angry. But I'm allright now, it's something I contemplate though, and in turn put them on here. It's heart weighing. Like, I may not even be getting minds to change from thinking I'm weird, and not a good friend. I'm just being me. But I don't know why being me has to hurt so much.
Anyways, the choir Classical Concert is tomorrow, we have to do it twice, lol. It's a Requiem, or in other words, a funeral mass type thing. One song I love in that is Libera Me. The rest is kinda weird. I'm trying to go to Kairos at the end of this year. That's really all that's up with me though. I'll love you if you read this, lol. Much love.
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| A while in the making... |
[01 Oct 2006|02:41am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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Akon feat. Eminem - Shake That |
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Well, homecoming week is coming up. School... is doing pretty allright besides the sucky classes. My lowest grade is a C+. It's pretty sweet. Yeah, about homecoming week. Yup, I'm a senior, and I still do not have a date. I'm not looking for one, though I am still curious. It's funny, I remember freshmen year going crazy and asking everyone to be my date, and I still couldn't get one. Then when I stopped asking people Junior year, I actually got a date with a girl I really like. Now it's back to going to Homecoming, with Kyle. He got played too... it's always fun. I am doing a lot better with women though, despite it all. I'm really coo with the most beautiful girl at my school. I mean, she actually messages me. It's very new territory for me, haha. I don't know, I think about her a lot, but I absolutely enjoy being her friend and I don't want to risk doing something stupid. So this friend thing, I can get used to it. I'm coo with a lot of other pretty girls. I've come a long way from being thought of as a stalker freshmen year.
So I'm on here at 2:47 in the morning on a Sunday listening to music and checking Myspace. Classes... some of them are really fun. Choir, I always love that class. Paul will come in on Fridays and we reunite the SBT(Sexy Beast Trio), with Tony and I. We were singing all loud, it was sweet. Me and Tony just talk about girls that whole class. I have Sports Skills again. That class is so bipolar. They messed up the schedule because we're sharing the gym with a freshmen gym class. So we are in the weight room a lot. Sometimes they'll go outside so we wil play basketball. Thursday and Friday, we played Football outside. Thursdays had a lot of people in it. It was 7 on 7 I think. Man, Adam Pelc is a beast. He had 4 touchdown catches. I know it's backyard football, but dude was catching everything. He had this sweet one, it was two hand tackle, but he juked Jon Stowell and got to the touchdown. He's just this little short stubbly kid too. Friday he beasted too, but I had 3 touchdowns of my own so I beasted also. :)
Short stories is pretty sweet. It's kinda easy, but the class is hilarious. We have some funny people in there. But like, everybody, even the girls, want me to read like every story out loud in that class, it's pretty tight. Oh man, we were doing something on the projector, and Kelsey went up there and was writing something, and all I saw was cleavage. I turned to Louis and was like that's a pretty sweet view. He pointed at Flip and Bill Sarosy and they were just staring at it, it was hilarious.
Spanish Two... speaks for itself. It isn't bad, though I don't have many friends in that class. Research paper. Oh My God. That class... sucks so bad. I mean it's some pretty coo people in it, but the class in itself, with the work ethic sucks so much balls. I have an 88% in it though right now. :)
Government with Mr. Perry. That class can be so hilarious. I didn't know Lance Young was such a class clown. I knew he was an idiot and everything, but that dude is hilarious. Jake Herzog, Chase Ferris, Kate Ibbotson, Katie Shaheen, Doug Guilbault and Cassie Pontos is in that class. Mr. Perry is this muscular ass teacher, he can be nice somedays, and he can not. It's pretty sweet. I talk to a lot of people in that class. I raped Quiz Bowl chapter review Thursday. Rows were teams, and one person comes every 2 questions from every row and answers questions. The winner of the game would get 2 extra points on the test the next day. So I get like, 4 of the teams 5 points right? So at the end, we're tied with another team. So it's me and Lance, and he asks what is the power of government that the states hold. And I go reserved powers. It was stellar.
Math Topics with Mr. Neumann is pretty sweet. You wouldn't be able to tell it but Mr. Neumann being the football coach, is a pretty sweet guy. He tries to joke around a lot in class, and he calls me dawg, haha. I read a lot in his class also. Everytime I read, Angelica just starts dying. She picks with me a lot in that class. A lot of tight people are in that class too. I talk to Lauren a lot in there, so it's pretty good. It's easy for me, the work that is.
Thinking about it, the classes aren't so bad, besides Research Paper and Spanish II. I donno, schoo is pretty sweet. But I gotta get ready for Homecoming week, where anything can happen. I just want a lot of dances at Homecoming.
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| I'm very good... |
[12 Sep 2006|11:21pm] |
Man school is gonna suck in some ways. Research paper, government, and spanish II really bores the bejesus out of me. But it's very interesting. I talk to lots of people now, and I'm friends with people I didn't think I would. I can't wait until homecoming, we might do this limo thing where we take our dates. And that's a relief for me because seeming as I can't drive, it'd be neat to give her a good time and have the limo take us places. But, I'm just waiting until then. I sing the national anthem for a girls bball game on Thursday, so I shall beast at that, lol.
But not all great, lol.
It's ridiculous that someone tells me that they like me, and then they block me for no reason.
Looks like the little shithead was right.
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| Best line of the day... |
[06 Sep 2006|12:24am] |
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mood |
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Crappy, but better... |
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music |
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Bigg Mone - 68.flp |
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"This is Steve Kapala, he has a brother in the 10th grade, and he pretty much did nothing all summer but pimp hoes, and have fun."
- Steve Higgerson, Short Stories
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[01 Sep 2006|12:12am] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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Okay, yeah. First of all, I'm going to try not be general with everything I'm going to say, this is in the heat of a fire, so some things may be very aggressive.
What is with bitches? The actual, true bitches?
You would think that in 17 years of living, that some chick would man up enough to grow up and take an apology, or not to ignore someone. But apologizing for a man, is like admitting that everything that he has done in the world is wrong. And I know that isn't the case with me. But even at the fucking volitile state of apologizing, someone still decides to take that opportunity to show the cunt side of themselves. The bad thing about it is that I was doing it because my friend likes her, and I don't want it to be awkward if I was hanging with him one day and she came over. But what the fuck. I feel bad for the way it went down, but having this friend or losing him, I'm not going to go soft on some chick that can't get out of the fucking fairy tale of being a pagent winner and being able to get any guy she wants. I'm really, really tired of this shit. And it wasn't like I wanted to get with her, I was apologizing, and I didn't know what for. I left some funny comments on her picture (cum, lol), because she wouldn't message me back or comment me back. So she deleted me. Now, I woudn't have left the comments if she'd fucking take the time out of 6 months to send a word to me. She did like a year ago, and then she started the ignoring shit. So, for the sake of my friend, I now have like 5 enemies at his school, not because of her, but girls just like her. It was some chick I talked to earlier, which I did a blog on a few posts ago, and we were hitting it off perfectly, and the next day she pretended to not know me. There's another girl who I was good friends with, and I asked her to watch a movie with, because I didn't like watching a particular movie by myself, and she didn't message me back. There's a girl in my Spanish class, and I went to her Myspace and I'm like 4th, so I'm like wow, I'm very honored, I'm glad I'm there. And she's like of course, you'll always be there. Then the next fucking day I'm not on the Top 8. Now I realize that this is just the internet, but it's not that, it's that she lied to me, and it's not like I don't know her, she's in my class. But she fucking lied, like it was fun or something for her. And I did ask her about it and she played it off like it was a joke. This is the shit I'm talking about, that I have to deal with. And that stuff might not sound bad, but combined with fucking 17 years of being bullied on, and not going out much, and getting rejected over and over again, and friends fucking hanging up on me just because I am depressed, it's a damn disaster waiting to happen. It's like, when I'm down, there's nobody to make me feel better, I'm not emotional like that with my family. But no you don't aid it, you hang up the God damn phone on me. It's going to be a time where I just won't talk to nobody and be one of those rare emo black kids that talk to nobody, because not talking to anybody makes me feel a ton better from what I see. People constantly reject me, judge me, not give me a chance, and hurt me for the fun of it. The bad thing is I don't feel like asking about it because it seems when I ask, they want to fucking play me the whole time. Like I'm invisible or something. Well I wish I was invisible, forever, so people wouldn't have to bother with me since I'm such a damn outsider, or I'm a bother to so many people. I really hate people at this point because they cause nothing but heartache, and I should do something about it. It's been too long for me not to fight back and let some bitch that my best friend likes play me like that. The fuck do people get off from making me feel like scum? And EVERY friend that I have ever had, I've fought with. And I've had my share of faults, but all have done something stupid and tried to cover it up, or called me ungrateful, or talked behind my back. I've never tried to be a mean person but I may have to be because there are people who want to step on my feelings on purpose. There's seriously times where I just want to kill some person that broke my heart, or betrayed me, but I would NEVER do that, because I believe every life is very valuable. But I question some peoples heart now, what they're actually here for. It's them that deserves nothing prosperous and good. I am sick of putting up with this shit. Very. I'm going to prove that I made it without these bitch asses. It's a hard thing, life.
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| My birthday... |
[27 Aug 2006|08:28pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Rick Ross - Push it |
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It's my birthday, lol. No biggie though. :)
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biggmone's journal